Twinkies 2.0: The Unboxing
As with so many thousands across this glorious land I stood in line at the local Safeway a couple of days ago eager to see if the rumors were true that the new Second Gen Twinkies had arrived.
I was not alone. For after being deprived of its sugary seduction for lo these many cheerless months, relief was but a few hundred feet away. The Twinkie line was a fun filled event as expected. From those who were camped out a week ago to be the first, to the mere curious who ambled on by in a pre-dawn haze. Finally to a thousand cheers, the doors were thrown open,
and the genial mob were ushered in by individual “counselers” eventually to reach that special display in-between the Twizzler kiosk and the Wall-o-Pringles, radiant in its perfect splendor. With my hand trembling like a 99-year old woman on a six pack of Mountain Dew tearing into her new Criterion Collection of Matlock BlueRay DVDs, I was able to at last grab hold of the new and improved Twinkie 2013.
While my counselor offered to help me with the setup, I opted to do it myself from home.
The box itself has been relatively unchanged, with its colorful red, white and blue graphics, it is otherwise a master of simplicity, so much so that no instructions are required.
Each Twinkie is individually wrapped in its finely textured cellophane sleeve, sometimes called “Primate Plastic”. They slip out with fairly easily; only one needed a little prompting, before being consumable.
And the taste? Well, I’ll leave that to a more complete review. But now, Twinkies have returned! And that’s enough for me. Except…for the rumored Twinkie-Mini! I’m standing in line already.
Now, how about Fizzies and Space Food Sticks?